Friday, January 30, 2009

You can't get an Rx for the good stuff


What has helped cheer me up in last 24 hours: hearing unedited music, having our president think I should make as much money as the guy next to me, having someone stand up for me in a meeting full of bullies hiding behind polite hairstyles and lipstick, playing Scrabble on Face book with an old friend, listening to Pandora.com, Duncan’s first smile this morning, when he fell asleep in my arms last night.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Economic Traffic Reporting


I listen to the traffic reports on a Detroit radio station. I hear about sofas blocking I-96 and a generator flipped into the median on the Southfield freeway facing north, a pink toilet with its lid open causing a major back up on I-696 west, pieces of particle board flying south on I-75 near the casino, rusty rabbit cage and a box of boy scout uniforms keeping cars off I-94 west.

The list goes on…refrigerators, rocking chairs, numerous sofas or just cushions, children’s play ground equipment, tools, periodicals, and too many mattresses to mention.

I imagine trucks lose their load and inexperienced movers lose pieces of their homes. I wish the traffic reporters could be a little more detailed about the items…the size of the mattress, the color and print of the sofa, does the fridge look to be in working condition, are the magazines in English or Arabic or Spanish, how used is the particle board. The garbage pickers could be the heroes for everyone sitting in traffic and maybe I could find that pink toilet I have always dreamed of.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I've Got Your Number


I was updating my address book, getting organized for the New Year. As I am carefully categorizing each person’s cell phone number, address, kid’s names, I start imagining another column. Shouldn’t there be a space to make notes about these people in our lives. Little reminders that might make future social and family events a little easier to plan?

For instance, Uncle Bob gets frisky when around jazz and whisky. Aunt Charlotte has a somewhat shady past with the feline community. The neighbor Jimmy and helium tanks and kids are a bad situation. Or third cousin Benny, when he gets near a loose purple thread the party is over. Barney, an old roommate has a crazy fear of already-clipped-coupons. Great Aunt Wednesday goes comatose when she sees Jimmy Dean’s mole. Don’t bring up the Green party or Canadians with Hal in the ranch across the street. Never serve sherbet punch to Cousin Jerry’s wife who wear’s the fake silk scarves, or she’ll never shut up about almost meeting Jerry Lee Louis. Never eat Lynnette’s “famous” rendezvous shrimp salad. Don’t have any family gatherings over at Aunt Thelma’s next to the school or else legally speaking cousin Dewey can’t attend.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Finally Fashionable


This is from, http://iwantigot.geekigirl.com/2008/09/25/crazy-lady-is-now-a-trend/Crazy Lady is now a trend.

I can't believe the fashion elite started following my crazy lady looks. I have long since been wearing two different shoes, two different earrings, and the daily two different socks.
Bring on the multiple necklaces of elephants and plastic beads paired with aluminum cowboy and bumble bee pins. I secretly feared I would have to wait until I was elderly to die my hair blue and accessorize with plastic fruit. My day has come and I am ready.