I've Got Your Number

I was updating my address book, getting organized for the New Year. As I am carefully categorizing each person’s cell phone number, address, kid’s names, I start imagining another column. Shouldn’t there be a space to make notes about these people in our lives. Little reminders that might make future social and family events a little easier to plan?

For instance, Uncle Bob gets frisky when around jazz and whisky. Aunt Charlotte has a somewhat shady past with the feline community. The neighbor Jimmy and helium tanks and kids are a bad situation. Or third cousin Benny, when he gets near a loose purple thread the party is over. Barney, an old roommate has a crazy fear of already-clipped-coupons. Great Aunt Wednesday goes comatose when she sees Jimmy Dean’s mole. Don’t bring up the Green party or Canadians with Hal in the ranch across the street. Never serve sherbet punch to Cousin Jerry’s wife who wear’s the fake silk scarves, or she’ll never shut up about almost meeting Jerry Lee Louis. Never eat Lynnette’s “famous” rendezvous shrimp salad. Don’t have any family gatherings over at Aunt Thelma’s next to the school or else legally speaking cousin Dewey can’t attend.